im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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