I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize