me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize