the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
