I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
