omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
