Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
