You work out of a Hotel?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
