If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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