I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We talked him into tasing himself.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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