Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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