her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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