He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
