he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
