so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Terrible idea I love it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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