I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
