And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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