Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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