I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
