One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
