i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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