used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
