Yo dont text me then not text me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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