At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
this hospital has no fireball
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
