Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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