Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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