i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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