i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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