Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
