I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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