: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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