well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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