The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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