so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
