she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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