I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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