I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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