Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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