I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
