just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
