Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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