Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
