I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
