Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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