Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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