but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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