The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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