ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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