the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
