i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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