You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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