you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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