He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
