I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize