I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
