I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize