smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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