Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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