these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
