Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
