Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
