where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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