singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
