If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
