Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just had sex on a roof
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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