thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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