I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize