No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
