ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

  Fav 58 18819 1508

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

  Fav 20 4491 1251

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

  Fav 4 1262 4229

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

  Fav 26 6431 1402

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

  Fav 11 6208 1809

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..

  Fav 10 1317 3728

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...

  Fav 4 972 2480

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

  Fav 7 3141 1065

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

  Fav 4 2349 856

  share tweet
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

  Fav 9 3055 959

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

  Fav 3 688 624

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.

  Fav 2 682 470

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.

  Fav 4 563 296

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.

  Fav 2 89 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  what are you up to?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance

  Fav 0 76 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize