lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I puked a lego.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
