just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So squirting runs in the family.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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