I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
