btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
