My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.