garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
