Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
there's paper in my vomit.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
