Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize